At The Front – always a good read!

Perhaps you are interested in WW2 gear, so you`ll probably came across At The Front and their supreme products at the past.
I don`t wanna write about this webshop or ATF gear in particular but about the owners very entertaining articles and statements about customer service.
Perhaps you`ll have a job at a counter (or something similar) then you`ll have a good time reading his posts that appear regularly on his site.
Have Fun!

Here is a funny one from the past:

***

Special Needs

It’s amazing how many people are flabbergasted that we need their address. I’m not sure how some individuals assume we can send their stuff without it but…why be so secretive?
Oh yeah, we’re that ATF and we’re coming to break your door down, take your guns, shoot your wife and rape your dog. If you order a Thompson SMG pouch you must be hiding all sorts of illegal weapons in your compound.

Then there’s the mystery packages. Returns with no name, no note, no paperwork, no phone number and no return address. Hundreds of dollars of free stuff, just for us. I thought it was common sense to at least toss a note in the box to explain whether one wanted an exchange, a refund or for Gina to rub her sweaty feet on it the boss to rub his sweaty ball cheese on it and send it back. WTF?

I’m certain that the reenacting/living historically/busting-caps-while-wearing-nazi-uniforms community doesn’t have a higher percentage of mentally challenged individuals than the general population. That couldn’t be. But why is it that we seem to deal with so many people who apparently can’t dress themselves, spell their own names, or wash their own clothes? And the kicker? Somebody gave these people credit cards. No wonder the economy is in the tank. I’m going to fill out applications for my dogs. And the cat.
How much worse could it get?
Oh yeah. They have guns too…

***

The latest one:

Why Shipping Ain’t Free

I suspect there’s been a new forum storm somewhere because we’ve suddenly had a deluge of people whining about having to pay any shipping at all. Normally, it’s the $10-20 orders that generate the most flak. A couple of facts are in order for those who apparently have no grasp of the realities of running a mail order business.

1. UPS doesn’t give a shit if we sell something for $2 or have it on sale for 90% off. They still have to pay their drivers, pilots, loaders and buy those trucks and planes that are required to get you your B-o-B uniform to your mommy’s doorstep. Those people don’t work for free and the planes and trucks don’t fall from trees in the Garden of Eden. You might have heard some such drivel at the Creation Museum, but they also have a nekkid guy dragging a lamb into the bushes…but it is Kentucky so no surprise huh?

2. The least it costs us to ship something now is about $10. UPS isn’t free. Boxes aren’t free. Nick doesn’t work for the love of Living History. We aren’t “raking it in”.

3. Want to cry about shipping costs? Fine. Our shipping bill for June was $14,377. Boxes were just over $1,000. Despite our “outrageous” shipping charges, we lost about $1,200. If you can whine, I can whine louder. Suck on that one.

4. “Why can’t you drive my order to the post office to save me $3?” (Real call after I posted this rant.) Sure. That’ll be $25. It’ll take Gina an hour to go across town, through the gridlocked town square,wait in line while the trashy citizens of the trailer park try to convince the postmaster to let them pick up their neighbor’s disability check, and then have to play catch up with the other orders (we do have more than one customer) she didn’t get to work on while she was saving you $3….

5. Use the post office to save me $3? Hell no! You same chuckleheads with the $10 orders, who threaten “unit boycotts” when we won’t pay $11 to ship your $5 East German boots, are the same yucks that demand tracking numbers 5 minutes after you place your order. The post is a few bucks cheaper but they lose a lot of packages- some permanently, others for 6-8 weeks. Either way, all the drama and squalling doesn’t justify the little savings.

6. Just put it in an envelope and use a stamp. That’s 44 cents. Been there, tried that, screw you weaselballs. For some reason, about 30% of such envelopes we sent out never arrived and we had to send replacements for the items that were “lost in the mail.” I’m sure that no red-blooded guardians of history would dream of taking advantage of an envelope’s lack of tracking numbers. The mail man must have eaten them!

Funnier still are the yucks who con their friends into driving two hundred miles or more to pick up their order at the shop- so they can save $12 shipping. (This happens at least once a month. Really.) What about your buddy’s gas??? And time??? Yet another indictment of public school education…or inbreeding.

You guys all want your nazi crap and paratrooper junk right f–king now or even yesterday. UPS has proven to be the best choice. They cost a little more, and they screw up about 1 in 1,000 shipments. The others we have tried- the US post is often cheaper but about 10% of all packages get lost or “misplaced” for weeks or months and their tracking information is vague at best. We also tried Fedex; while reliable, they cost even more than UPS and they had a curious habit of billing us an extra $5-8 for every shipment weeks after the fact for “mystery charges”.
So that’s the deal. If you don’t like it, the solution is simple. Order from someone else!

🙂

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~ by geardoshit on August 3, 2011.

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